“Gretel and Hansel” Horror Film Mini Review

Don’t go into the A-frame house in the middle of the woods, should you see it; it’s a hard pass. Orion Pictures’ Gretel and Hansel directed by Oz Perkins (son of horror legend Anthony Perkins of Psycho) delivers a horror film with an outstanding atmosphere and ominous tone paired with a creepy score and beautiful cinematography, BUT the plot is abominable. Not only is it a slow burn, but it is incredibly abstract with no real diegetic direction for the snoozefest of a screenplay. However, this film seems to resonate with fans of The Witch and Mandy. Although so many fans and critics praise The Witch, it is not one that I have ever cared for. So take this mini review with a grain of salt, if you must. While I often appreciate (and sometimes even love) arthouse horror (Midsommar is a great example of one that I praise highly), I am in the minority on The Witch. Which could explain why I did not care for this adaptation of the Grimm fairy tale Hansel and Gretel. If you’re wondering why the name was transposed, it’s because Gretel is our central character. And you know what? I like her character a lot; I just wish she was given more to do. Although the plot barely exists, it is clear that this was intended to be a creepy, empowering coming-of-age story; however, it’s unfortunate that it was poorly executed, to the point that it works better than Ambien. My favorite character in this adaptation is Alice Krige’s (Borg Queen from the StarTrek series and movies) witch! Everything from her look to overall delivery was excellent! While I am a huge fan of Perkins’ The Blackcoat’s Daughter, I am not a fan of many of his other films because he doesn’t work with strong enough screenwriters. If he could somehow pair his brilliant visual, immersive direction with stronger screenwriters that can deliver a coherent story, then we could be talking more about him, as we do Ari Aster. I want to reiterate tho–the cinematography, production design, score, and editing are exceptionally good! So, if you are okay with a meh plot, then you may still find this one enjoyable.

Ryan teaches screenwriting at the University of Tampa. If you like this article, check out the others and FOLLOW this blog! Interested in Ryan making a guest appearance on your podcast or contributing to your website? Send him a DM on Twitter or email him at RLTerry1@gmail.com! You can catch Ryan most weeks at Studio Movie Grill Tampa, so if you’re in the area, feel free to catch a movie with him!

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“The Lighthouse” mini film review

What did I just watch??? I still haven’t a clue, but it was sure beautiful to look at. The Lighthouse is visually stunning, brilliantly edited, and the performances are mindblowingly fantastic! There’s only one small problem–well, more like a big problem–there is no plot. Audiences will be left in the dark on this one. Roger Eggers was so busy focussing on the visual elements of the film (don’t get me wrong, that is very important) but I think he needed his own lighthouse to provide direction for the writing because the plot got lost at sea. No to be too blunt, but The Lighthouse is a directorial masterbatory exercise of film as a visual medium. The story, if you want to call it that, is more poetic than diegetic. Meaning, the story is emotionally driven versus action or even character driven. There lacks any narrative in the traditional sense, but much like a poem, there is visual imagery ripe for interpretation. I equate this film with a painting or sculpture in a museum. We may not know precisely what the artist intended, but we can read our own interpretation into the work of art. Therefore, that artwork holds special meaning for us. You can say the same thing about The Lighthouse. While there is not a plot to follow, the imagery will mean different things to different people. For bibliophiles, you will undoubtedly identify the Odyssey elements in the film, which I thought were great! What we have here is the poster child of an auteur’s film. There was such a focus on the art of visual storytelling that the actual story was nearly left out. And by story, I am referring to plot specifically. Even the great Cecil B. DeMille knew the importance of a motion picture with a story, “the greatest art in the world is the art of storytelling.” With such powerful imagery, expertly crafted and arranged in a brilliant fashion that intrigues and assaults the eyes all at the same time, I would have loved to have seen a well-developed plot that could have elevated the spectacle of the film to an experiential narrative.

Ryan teaches screenwriting at the University of Tampa. If you like this article, check out the others and FOLLOW this blog! Interested in Ryan making a guest appearance on your podcast or contributing to your website? Send him a DM on Twitter or email him at RLTerry1@gmail.com! You can catch Ryan most weeks at Studio Movie Grill Tampa, so if you’re in the area, feel free to catch a movie with him!

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Twitter: RLTerry1

Instagram: RL_Terry